Love to Learn

I started this semester with many hesitations. A couple weeks ago I wasn't even sure I was going to return to college. Mostly because I'm going to be 23 this year and I'm only a Junior. Most of my graduating class from high school will be graduating college this year - the majority of them around the age 21 or 22. I found myself playing the comparison game, yet again, and doubting my return to college because I thought I was "behind." But, with much convincing from my parents and dear friend Anthony, I obligingly returned to school to finish what I started - and I'm so glad that I did. 

This school year for me is unlike any I've had in the past. I have a clearer vision for my future, a new-found appreciation for learning, and an open-mindedness that has allowed me to really soak in all the information that has been presented to me thus far. And let me just say, it's been GOOD! Great even. I haven't felt this inspired or motivated in months, and I truly believe it's this atmosphere of learning. I took a break from learning last semester...not just from college, but from learning! I neglected to acknowledge that whether I'm in school or not, I should NEVER stop learning. The last five months of my life have felt so empty, but I didn't even realize how empty I felt until I immersed myself back into a culture of learning. 

I write this post as an encouragement to YOU. If you feel that you've lost your vision, inspiration, excitement, motivation, your zeal...DON'T FRET! If at this very moment there is breath in your lungs and a heart in your chest that has a beat then guess what: you still have purpose! You are living for a reason; and if your vision is blurred and you feel that you've lost your sense of purpose, then learn something! Anything! I guarantee it'll birth something in you that will inspire you and help you fulfill your purpose. 

If you're sitting there thinking "Ugh, but I don't want to go back to school." No worries! College isn't for everyone. But learning is. And there are a ton of things you can learn without having to set foot on a college campus. Here are just a few options:

1. Learn to play an instrument
2. Take a few dance classes
3. Learn how to paint
4. Teach yourself how to cook
5. Learn the art of meditation
6. Give surfing a go
7. Buy a camera & learn the art of photography 
8. Get a dictionary - learn a new word a day
9. Learn a new language
10. Explore your thoughts and get a journal - write things down
11. Educate yourself on historical events and great leaders
12. Learn how to play a sport
13. Teach yourself how to use a pogo stick 
14. Learn how to juggle
15. Read about cultures across the world

Just learn SOMETHING! Most likely, you won't be gung ho about it right from the get go - trust me, it took a few days for me to get back in the swing of college life - but once you make learning a part of your routine, you'll see an overall transformation in your life. Allow yourself to be inspired and never give up on what you want!

Live With Zeal

January 2015. Like clockwork, similar patterns present themselves before my very eyes. Change is upon us. Another couple gets engaged (yippee...but really, congrats though). Resolutions are thought up and followed through (for about a week or so). Plans are made (while God laughs). And people move on, move forward, take a step back, or re-evaluate. Processes are taking place.

I never realized how overwhelmed the new year makes me. Pressure comes creeping in from every side and I find myself making extravagant plans because I'm stuck in a rut of playing the comparison game. "I need to go here because this person went to that place last year and look who they met and look what they did and look at the opportunities that are now presented to them...God! How did I get so behind, gotta start planning..." AND, "Wow, they've been dating for four years and just got engaged and have such a great relationship, UGH GOD how long are you going to keep me in this singleness it's like a curse! I mean, I can help you out, I can download Tinder (mental note: stop downloading Tinder) But I mean, C'MON I needs me a MAN..." AND of course, "OMG that girl is so stylish, I have to burn all of my clothes and go shopping immediately and then only eat lettuce and work out 5 hours a day so I can fit into the new clothes I buy and maybe then I'll look as good as her...better make it 6 hours a day..."

^^^DOES THAT NOT SOUND 
SO EXHAUSTING TO YOU?!^^^

I wish I could say I was kidding, that I never think those things and that I'm perfectly content with myself and my life...but I would be lying. I don't have it all together. No matter what my Facebook, Instagram, social life may look like...this chick is JUST as lost as YOU. Surprised? GOOD.

The comparison game just needs to stop. We're holding ourselves to a standard of perfection that we've placed upon someone else who is no more closer to it than we are. So, what do we do? Well, for starters I think we need to find our purpose. My main goal for this year is to know my purpose and to remind myself of it daily. For me, my purpose is to glorify God in my daily living and to be joyful with where He has me. Right now I would love to be finished with college and be backpacking through South America. Well, obviously that's not where He has me at all - I'm a full time student working part time at a hotel in a town where the only place you'll see a backpack is on campus. And that's OK!! My purpose right now is to glorify God everyday I'm in class and at work, and maybe someday down the road He'll open up a door where I can bring Him glory through a South American backpacking trip (prayers accepted). But in all seriousness, if you figure out your purpose, then nothing else can stand in the way of that and the joy it'll bring you.

One other thing I would suggest in helping you appreciate where you are is if you invest in others. We go through life with so many surface relationships, "Hey girl, how are you?" "Good! How are you?" "Good, thanks! Let's catch up soon!" "Okay, sounds good. See ya!" NO! Take time to invest in people. Find people who you would want to invest in you. Purposefully seek people who you can build a deep relationship with. Take the time to really know them, and give them the chance to know you too.

As I bring this post to an end, you may be sitting there thinking, "Why take pointers from you? You just told us that you don't have it all together, so what do you know?" To which I tip my hat and say "Touché," and let you go about your day. But really, just take it from someone who knows! I've done the comparison game, I've made the resolutions, planned the trips, flirted with the boys, gone on fad diets and for what?! To tell you that it's unfulfilling! You will continue to feel lost and like you're a step behind until you figure out your purpose (which personally I think is connected to God). But whether you believe in God or not, spend some time alone and figure out what you think your purpose is. And then just start to live it out! And in the midst of all of that, form connections with people. Real relationships that carry depth and encourage you to reach your purpose and potential. Live with zeal and have courage as you leave society's standards behind and walk in the purpose that is PERFECT for YOU.

val·ue

noun (google define)

1. 1.

   the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.

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2. 2.

   a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.

Ever heard of something called My One Word? Well, neither did I until the beginning of last year. When I first heard about My One Word, I didn't think too much about it. If I'm being completely honest, I didn't really think about it at all. I thought it was a cute concept and that it was a good way for people to be motivated to change themselves, but that was pretty much it. I was hesitant to dig deeper into its meaning and just left it at that. It took a couple months into the new year before my curiosity got the best of me and I began to investigate a little more into what this whole "My One Word" thing was all about. After doing a little more digging, I came to the conclusion that My One Word was probably the most ingenious way to practically make improvements in your life that'll transform your future. You're probably thinking, "Woah now, that's a little drastic - going from not thinking anything about it to thinking that it can change your life," which I would simply reply, "Yeah, I know." All I can really say is that I gave it a chance and it worked, so my perspective has been changed. 

Now, you're probably wondering what My One Word is, right? The simplest way to explain it would be to offer it to you as a process so here it goes: 

Step 1: Figure out who you want to be at the end of this year

I know it's February, and this post may seem to be coming a little late but it's never too late to make some positive adjustments to your life. Determine what kind of person you wish to be at the end of this year and let that inspiration drive you as you pick your word and begin to transform your life. 

Step 2: Make note of the qualities you would find in that person

You have a vision of who you want to be at the end of the year which is great, but what exactly does that mean? What do those characteristics consist of and what changes need to be made to mold into that person?

Step 3: Pick your word

As you set a goal for the person you want to be at the end of the year, pick one word that will help get you there. Even if you get stuck between two words, narrow it down to one and let that be your focus for the year. It'll not only help you get to where you want to be, but it will also transform your daily life in ways you can't imagine. 

A statement from myoneword.org says that choosing a word "will provide you with a lens to see the changes you need to make as well as a way to determine whether or not change is actually happening." I can attest from experience that that statement is true and will give you the push you need to become the person you wish to be towards the end of the year. Let your one word motivate you to improve the areas of your life that you feel are struggles or weaknesses, and you'll see a better you by the end of the year! 

The word value holds a lot of meaning to me and I chose it because I feel that it is an area of my life where I struggle the most. I tend to look for my value in others and let others' opinions affect the way I feel about myself. This year I want to focus on MY value, my actual value, not the ideas and opinions that others have formed about me. My main goal at the end of this year is to understand my value without the influence of what others may think my value is. Along with knowing the value in myself, I also hope to take more value in daily things such as time [spent with others], the beauty of a new day, and even monotonous things such as tests and homework (I'm serious!). I hope to find the beauty and blessings in each day and really find more value in things that I often take for granted. I hope that, as my friends read this post, they will encourage me to become a better me and help me to remember my one word on days when I'm feeling discouraged. And I hope to do the same for you as you take the journey in picking a word and transforming your life in 2014. 

For more information on My One Word, you can visit www.myoneword.org or follow @myoneword on Twitter. 

So, what do you want to be when you grow up?

The age old question. We've been asked that question since we've been old enough to talk and I find myself today, as a 21 year old college student, still being asked that same question. Only now it usually comes in the form of "What's your major and what are your career aspirations?" Every time I get asked that question I want to curl up in a shell and pray the person walks away. But, in my attempt to not be a coward, I usually respond with some bogus answer that will make them think highly of me and make me think that I actually have a plan and know what I'm doing. Although I usually fool them, I can't fool myself. I was actually honest with someone the other day who asked, "So, what do you want to do after college?" in which I replied, "I'm not sure." Well that didn't really seem to impress him as he went on to tell me about how I need to "hurry up and figure things out" and how "my daughter knew what she wanted to do her freshman year of high school" and so on and so forth until I smiled and agreed with him of how wonderful his daughter is and how I need to get my life together. Conversations like that just always make me wonder why I haven't figured it out yet and I'm always left feeling guilty for not knowing. Because I'm 21 years old and I should have my life figured out by now, right? I should've had it figured out in high school when I was applying to colleges, or actually before that, sophomore year when I was deciding what to do my senior project on, or maybe even before that, in middle school when I was being told I needed to work harder so I can excel in high school and get into college so I can secure a job that I'm not even sure I want...yeah, a job I'm not even sure I want. I don't know where we got caught up in obtaining the "American Dream" but I'm not even sure I know what that is anymore. If it means going to college so I can have the security of working a 9 to 5 job, then I don't want it. If we truly live in the land of opportunity, then we can't only give one option when it comes to having a successful life. We need to allow room for dreams and give people a chance to pursue them without mocking or ridicule. The last thing someone wants to hear when sharing their dreams with someone is, "Yeah, good luck with that." Let's motivate one another to pursue whatever it is we want to do, whether that be to go to college and chase after a career or whether it be something completely different. No matter what you choose, however, neither one is the right or wrong way. Not attending college and pursuing dreams of mine may be completely wrong to someone else, but maybe to me it's the right thing to do and no one has the authority to tell me otherwise. Let's be a generation who encourages one another to follow our hearts instead of following a system. There's so much happiness and freedom that can be found in following your heart and going after what you love, and I refuse to live my life in any other way.

Being Open

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and in the back of your mind all you're thinking is "Just shut up already!" Well, in this past week I've had multiple conversations with people where that's been raving in my head while I just smile and nod. I'm usually a great listener, but there is one type of conversation that everyone has had at one point where you just want to mute the other person and walk away. The conversation can present itself in various ways, but it all stems from one thing; and that one thing is the fact that you're talking to a close-minded person. Now, before you stop reading just know that I understand and acknowledge that all people possess close-mindedness at times, especially over certain ideas or beliefs. But when you are so set in your ways that you refuse to even listen to another person's perspective, well that's when I kind of lose it. Of course, like I said before, I'll typically just stand there, nod and smile, but in my mind I'm going crazy.

Where is the problem in being open-minded? In considering someone else's perspective before completely bashing it? I feel like especially for those of us in our twenties, we should be a little more open to everything around us. Now, I don't mean that as an excuse to act out; what I mean is to be open to listen and reflect on things that may be different from what you're use to or comfortable with. Transitioning your thoughts from being close-minded to being open will bring along so many new experiences. It's just a way to experience life in a broader way. While for some it may be difficult to open yourself up, I want to challenge and encourage you to just try it! There's no harm in trying and at least you'd be stretching yourself to some extent. So, here are some recommendations on how to become a more open person.

1. Listen to people who have different ideas or beliefs than you. 

By just listening to someone else isn't going to convert you to what they believe. Just give them a chance to speak their mind without shutting down what they're saying. Just because you're against abortion doesn't give you the right to ignore someone who's had one. Give her a chance to tell her story.

2. Be open to new experiences and opportunities. 

One of my friends in particular comes to mind when I think of this one. She has put herself out there more than anyone I know and because of that she has had so many amazing opportunities open up and is experiencing life in a way I one day hope to. Take a chance! Don't shoot something down because it's out of your comfort zone; it may turn out to be the most liberating thing you've ever done. 

3. Give someone a chance who you normally wouldn't. 
Whether it be in relation to dating or a friendship, don't cancel someone out because they're not what you're use to. Again, this is all about breaking out of that comfort zone. I have friends with all sorts of backgrounds and personalities, but I've managed to find some common ground with all of them. They say opposites attract, so don't knock it till you try it!

Don't be that aggravating person who only talks about why they're right and refuses to hear another's opinion. At least start with listening and as you progress in that, you'll naturally start to gravitate towards the others. Be young, be free, & be open. 

A New Perspective for the New Year

Let's face it, every year towards the end of the month of December, we get that piece of paper out and start jotting down our resolutions for the upcoming year. We look back on all the things we didn't accomplish in the previous year, reflect on our mistakes and swear not to make them again, and think about all the ways we can change ourselves in the new year. We obsess over "getting it right" in the new year, like we have some set idea of what that actually is. We swear to change this, this and this about our personality, image, friends, behavior, love life, and so on and so on in the hopes of fulfilling the statement that "This is my year!" And it very well could be your year, but why do we think that change is the greatest way in achieving that? Don't get me wrong, I completely understanding wanting to better yourself and in doing so making some changes in your life, but why focus so much on the change itself? Focusing on the things we want to change about ourselves only points out the areas in our life where we think we fall short, where we think we don't quite hit the mark, and there's a lot of negativity behind that. The most empowering thing we can do as individuals is take a look at our life and find the qualities that we love about ourselves and work on improving those; by doing that, I believe the change in other areas of our life will come naturally. For example, instead of focusing on dieting and hitting the gym this year, focus on eating clean and doing activities that will improve your health. If you think you talk too much, don't focus on talking less, just listen more and take a second to think before you respond to someone. Focus on loving yourself before you focus on finding someone else to love. This year, focus on being happy with who you are and consciously try to find the positives in your every day life. Only then will this year actually be your year. So, with that being said, here are 10 things for me to keep in mind as I walk through each day of this year.

1. Focus on the positives. If this blog post gets 100 negative comments but 1 positive comment, I'm going to appreciate and enjoy that one comment all week and forget about the others.

2. Focus on the qualities I love about myself. If someone thinks my laugh is too loud and obnoxious, I'm just going to laugh louder...I love my laugh, it's a good reflection of my personality.

3. Be completely in the moment, wherever I am and whoever I'm with. I want to take in life on another level this year by giving other people my undivided attention when I'm with them and appreciating all that's around me.

4. Be healthier: mind, body, spirit, and soul. For me, this means including Jesus in my day more and having Him guide me in making healthy decisions all around.

5. Worry less by appreciating more. My hours at work may be getting cut a little more, but at least I have a job...I'm really thankful for that.

6. Be happy with where I'm at in life instead of envious of where other people are. They're not ahead of the game if they're engaged, have a career established or are traveling the world, they're just in a different stage of life.

7. Consider mistakes as a learning experience rather than a pile of regrets. Everything happens for a reason and mistakes allow room for us to grow.

8. Hug more. I'm not a handshake gal and let's face it, everyone could use more hugs.

9. Spend more time with family. Yes, sometimes they get on my nerves, but at the end of the day they're still family and family is everything.

10. Give the youth a chance. I don't care if it's a 6 year old or a 16 year old, but we can't overlook the generation behind us...give them the time of day and I'm sure you'll learn a thing or two.


I hope this post encourages you to be happy with who you are and where you are in life, and also motivates you to take the pressure off of yourself.  Just be you and be happy. Hope this year really is your best yet!